My goodness, it is very hard for a guy like me to remember the woman he became so very close to over the years without feeling the torment of grieving.
Over the years since her death, her expressions, voice, and affection, seem to keep stabbing me to death. But somehow I still remain healthy, unable to become sick and die too. Even though that kind of suffering makes you start looking for some kind of relief.
I put her wedding band on my neck chain with my St Christer metal for good luck, because I just couldn't let her go without having something she cherished also.