Now you live in that picture.

Tinker

We went from being close, touching, besides each other, then somehow life put you into a picture. Leaving me with only the memory of you as your spirit keeps swirling inside my emotions. Your death has always seem very unreal to me, how can you only be in that picture now that we took just for our family alum keepsake.

You still think that I'm coming to the hospital to take you home in the morning, as you slipped into a coma from which you would never awake. And as the doctor told me that you had a lot of fluid around your brain, that there was nothing else to do but too pull you off the machine that were keeping you alive. I cried. Because I was getting crushed from realizing that you lose your fight to simply be with your husband, and child. The prayer you said when you thought you were alone, but I overheard.

I was sliced into by the worst feeling that I have ever had before. A sharp blade passed through me with no resistance at all, leaving me behind, stunned, in shock, and grieving.

I have never been alone all through my life because I was always lucky that way, and you also left me with three children who loves me too. And before you I had great Parents, Brother, and Sister, and now only my Sister and Children are left. So still even after your death, I was never alone.

I don't think that I could have stood the horror of losing you and living alone in the house we live in. Because as it was the nights were the worst moments of all. The time that we took to be together away from the others. When most of the time we just simply hug, or held each other hand, just being together happy and content.

Now you are in that picture as the last moment of my life pass by. I heard that only the strong survive yet somehow my old age feels more like a nuisance than something to fear. I am not afraid of death because it was always life that kept given me all the trouble.

I was trying to simply walk along the waterfront of the lake today, and I had to stop to rest after only a little while. Because I had trouble breathing quietly. Remember how I was so prideful of controlling my breathing, and how I like to breathe without making a sound.

Damn old age is making me breath deeper and more labored than I ever did before. So I am now only siting here looking out over the view, and at the picture of you.

Wow! We were so young and happy once, remember.
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LlvUepMa31o
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