Saturday, July 25, 2015

They were everything to me.

Thomas Williams
Oh my God almighty I am now getting haunted by all the people in my life that I fell so deeply in love with, and who I love much more now. And it hurts by feeling that I am the only one left since they have crossed over to the other side of life, and I feel a loneliness that I have never felt before.

And as I keep hearing all of the sight, sounds, which I saw and heard with them then, the youth of my life keeps torturing me more, twisting me into the different emotional distortion that I feel seeing their reflections, of how they looked and felt with me then. God have mercy on me now and give me the strength to endure their memory of them with me.
I did not know what I was doing then and all I can see and feel is how much they love me even if I was too stupid to appreciate them then like I do now. And that of course make the loss of their friendship even worse because now it is truly too late for my tears, knowing that I can't give to them what I should have done back then.
God I am suffering in the silence of my own stupidly from all those wasted years as those wonderful people gave to me their very best. And as I only took their love for granted then just like a spoiled brat. So now my grieving feels just too incredible to bear, or believe, and yet so very true.

I now realize much too late that I had true love given to me on a silver platter, and all I did was ruin what could have been instead.
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